Breakup Relief

If you find yourself second-guessing a breakup after you had once been clear, dwelling in your former partner’s decision to end things, or on the edge of reaching out (or responding) to reignite the past in a moment of weakness… rest assured that each of those temptations are widely-known human experiences.

Here are a few reasons why:

We are biologically wired for survival: as soon as we face nearly any type of change, resistance can surface because we have physically survived in whatever the current situation is - and anything new is a risk to that perceived safety. Sometimes we need to acknowledge the protection mechanism, and remind ourselves that our target in our relationships isn’t to survive, it’s to thrive.
We know we are not perfect, nor act perfectly: deep down we know we could have made different decisions across the span of the relationship, and this can put us in a “what if” spiral. Peace comes from knowing that every relationship is a mirror to see where we can uplevel, acknowledging how we contributed to the dynamic, and using any potentially painful lessons as a playbook for the future.
It’s easy to over-index on their role in the good parts of the relationship: when positive aspects of a relationship come to mind, especially those that we had not experienced before, we can lose sight of the role that we played in co-creating that reality. This person may feel like a rare source of the thing we’re wanting, but this is an opportunity to slow down and see how our own actions, character, and availability invited the best parts of the relationship.

This exercise isn’t about overriding your past relationship, blaming your former partner, or rushing any healing that’s needed - it’s a tool to feel the truth fully (with intentional guard rails), capture what truly serves you, and cut any predictable mental loops before they start so you can spend time and energy on your future.

You can do this.